Honk If You're Male

Alright all you men out there, listen up. I have a piece of advice for you, advice that could be crucial to your love life.

Women do not like to be honked at.

It is in no way, shape or form flattering. We don't get honked at and think "Wow, who's that hunk in the truck next to me honking?" We get honked at and think "Oh crap. How do I get away from these psycho guys?".

Case in point.

Last night I was on my way to a meeting and I pulled up to a stoplight. Two guys pull up next to me in a big old truck. I don't really pay a lot of attention because I'm thinking about the meeting and other important things in my life, like In-N-Out. So I hear this honking and voices. I look around and assume someone is about to crash. Not the case. I look to my left where I see the suspects, in their truck, honking and waving at me. I immediately assume something is wrong, like my tail lights are out or my clothes are stuck in the door. Not the case because I see their smiling faces as they yell out the car window to me. Of course, I'm stuck at a stoplight and can't move. Finally I ignore them long enough, they lose interest, and the light turns green.

Construction workers, this goes for you too. Don't whistle or catcall. I mean really, has this worked for you before? I would like just one construction worker to come forward and say " Yes, I whistled at a woman and she stopped. I thought she was going to slap me, but instead she asked me out. Three years later we were married." Anyone? I thought so. It doesn't work, so don't try it.

I don't know what man came up with the idea of honking, whistling and catcalling, but let me tell you, on behalf of women everywhere, it doesn't work. We don't like it. We won't date you. Just remember that...