Witty Thoughts

This was the first email I read this morning. Talk about a good way to wake up!

Snappy Answer #1A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"; The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well, I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign came up that read "low bridge ahead." Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he was stuck under the bridge. Cars backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

BONUS Snappy Answer A girl visiting her blond friend, who had acquired two new dogs, asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? "Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," answered the blond, "they're watch dogs!"Can't get enough?

The BEST is LAST! A pompous minister was seated next to a Texan on a flight to Dallas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Texan asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Texan looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice, I'll have what he's having."

Heh. Yeah, well it made me giggle. And my mom since she sent it to me. That makes two of us. :)

Check out the song of the day. Email me if you don't understand why it's my new anthem. That's a funny story, let me tell you!

Ok, let's discuss this American Idol thing. WHY IS EVIL SHREK STILL ON THERE?! What is wrong with America?! And WHO THE HECK IS VOTING FOR HIM?! He's yucky looking, he sings HORRIBLY, and there are MUCH better people on that show who are being voted off before him! At least Anwar had the Steve Wonder thing going. I would rather listen to him than hear Scott try to sing one more song that's just a little to high for him. Please, someone explain in the comments section why he's on!!!

Hope you're all having a wonderful day!