Driving

 think I might have road rage. I firmly believe that I should own the road. No one else should be on it because everyone else drives like idiots. Several scenarios led me to believe this today:

1. Don't go slow in the fast lane. Unacceptable. They call it the fast lane for a reason - it's for the people that are at least going the speed limit. 25 in a 40 zone is not going the speed limit.
2. When you are turning out of a parking lot and would like to cross all lanes to go the other direction, please use that little pedal on the right. It's called the accelerator. The whole point is that you can get your car moving. You are probably going to cause an accident if you swing across 4 lanes doing 25 mph while the people coming at you are doing 40. And also, wait until people aren't coming! That way they don't all have to slam on their brakes and honk!
3. If you're an old man, don't stare at me at a stoplight. In fact, I don't care who you are, don't stare at me period! First of all, it's rude to stare. Secondly, if you're an old man, chances are that you aren't going to get a date out of it. I admire your courage and all, but quit it!
4. Finally, a word of advice. We live in the 21st century. Your car is not supposed to blow smoke. Never. Only big rigs get to do that. It's really gross to drive behind you and smell the yuckiness because you're too lazy to fix the car. If there's a black cloud that seems to follow you everywhere, I'm talking to you.

Thank you for listening. Now get off my road.