Lessons Learned Over the Past 24 Hours

In an effort to not get any sicker than I already am, I have turned to radical treatments. I stayed home from work today, cocooned in my room with the humidifier on. I've eaten every fruit known to man and am religiously taking my vitamin C pills. Last night, just before bed, I remembered a trick told to me by my very wise vocal coach in college. It worked then, so I assumed it would work again (see Lesson #1). The trick was to take a raw clove of garlic, chew it and swallow it. Sounds simple, doesn't it? So, here I am, standing in the kitchen with my parents watching me like I was about to jump off a building. I had picked the largest clove I could find, thinking more garlic = more things to fight disease (see Lesson #2). I took the first bite, chewed it and choked it down. This led mom to say something along the lines of "You're taking that like a man". Never a good sign. The second, third and fourth bites were very difficult. In fact, at one point, my eyes teared up because my tongue felt like it was on fire. Being the brilliant young woman that I am, I decided to have a "chaser". It works for tequila, doesn't it? So I pour myself a great big glass of orange juice, thinking that the sweet taste might balance out the burning fires of hell on my tongue (see Lesson #3). So, here I stand in the kitchen, garlic in stomach, empty glass in hand. Things began to churn, so I thought, maybe I need something else in my tummy to help calm it down. There were bananas directly in front of me, so I wolf one down (see Lesson #4). At this point, I decide the best thing to do is to brush my teeth and head off to bed. I get past the toothbrushing part and lay down to sleep. That's when the really bad stuff started. Apparently your stomach doesn't like raw garlic, orange juice, bananas and laying down. The bad news is that I barfed. The good news is I think it was mostly oj and banana. The garlic seemed to stay down. I went down, had another banana, brushed my teeth and went to bed. When I woke up this morning, the first thing I smelled was garlic. Never a good thing. Ever. Today I still felt sick, so I stayed home from work. I did a little research on the effects of garlic (see Lesson #5) and, surprisingly, have felt a little better today than yesterday. I'm thinking this might get better sooner rather than later. The research did point out one little thing:

The ingestion of one to two cloves of raw garlic per day is considered safe in adults. The most common side effect of ingested garlic is breath and body odor. Consumption of excessive amounts of raw garlic, especially on an empty stomach, can cause gastrointestinal upset, flatulence, and changes in the intestinal flora. There have been reports of allergic dermatitis, burns, and blisters from topical application of raw garlic.

Now, I'm not sure what intestinal flora are, but I don't think mine have changed. I did notice a little garlic "odor" today, and pretty much everything I ate or drank had a distinct garlic flavor. It appears that I only had one of the adverse effects (thank God it wasn't the flatulence), which was the gastrointestinal upset. Kind of a nice way to put it. When I talked to Brig today she mentioned that now we were "barf buddies" (she had a little "episode" this weekend after a long night out). So gross Brig. We'd never make it as bulimics.

Now, all of that said, I decided to give it another try tonight. Mom made a great stew, so I cut up a clove and added it to my portion. The results were wonderful - no "gastrointestinal upset"! (see Lesson #6). I'm also happy to report that my sore throat is mostly gone. Woo hoo!

Lessons Learned Over the Past 24 Hours:

• Lesson #1: Things that used to work for you in college generally do not work after college.
• Lesson #2: Don't bite off more than you can chew. Literally. Less is more, especially when it comes to cloves of garlic.
• Lesson #3: Garlic and orange juice don't mix. Ever.
• Lesson #4: Garlic and bananas don't mix. Ever.
• Lesson #5: Research radical cures BEFORE doing them.
• Lesson #6: Mixing raw garlic WITH food is good!